Career manifestation & old beliefs

Dreatm

In 02/2020 I went through some big changes that flowed effortlessly to me, i moved with my boyfriend to a different state & was lucky enough to have found a "great job" with his company. i went through the 2 week training and i did great, i was open minded about the whole process and it went smoothly, it was a Customer service representative position. 

I am great at learning new things and putting them to work right away, so I did amazingly great with this company, as i would work more and more on myself i started to realized how miserable i was with that job, but me being me i kept meditating, listening to positive affirmations and kept moving on with the job even though it did drive me crazy no matter how "amazingly great" i was at it. 

One Monday morning i went to sit at my desk at home since it was a "work from home job". well i went to go sit at my desk at not later than 7:59am, and I BURST OUT IN TEARS, crying my eyes out and if i didn't have control over some of my emotions i would say i was having an anxiety attack. so i worked for an hour or so in this emotional state but i could not continue so called in for a sick day that day. I took a day for myself to see if i saw myself doing this kind of work any longer, i automatically knew the answer was a BIG bold NO!!!!  The company as a whole is a great well put together place to work, but i could not do the negativity of it anymore, dealing with the phone calls NONSTOP. it was causing me to lose myself, damaging me mentally. and i couldn't do it anymore so i quit. it felt so right to quit, i felt like i took my power back!!! i felt and still feel like i did the right thing for myself. I told myself that i am tired of putting so much of my energy & effort into something that is not making me happy in anyway, i got tired of trading my priceless time/ life for an hourly job that making someone else wealthy & making me miserable with little time to enjoy the fat check i was getting.

I decided that I was going to find what i would enjoy and make an income out of it. well i quit my job and thankfully i have a boyfriend who immediately understood that ONES happiness comes first and supported my decision. So with his income, both his & my needs are met every month & Im grateful for that. 

keep in mind that I DO NOT WANT TO REPLACE THE OLD JOB WITH ANOTHER JOB, I WANT TO REPLACE IT WITH MY PASSION, WITH SOMETHING IM GOING TO ENJOY DOING THE REST OF MY LIFE. I am done with the loop of working a 9-5 job, giving someone a portion of my life for a portion of their " Fat check" 

this is what i need help overcoming:  soon after i quit, i started to feel this feeling in my stomach that i'm going to run out money in my bank account, & therefore not be able to buy what i want or meet my needs. i also have a hard time asking others for help or support. these are dormant beliefs that were triggered by me quitting my job. it feels negative and it messes with me trying to manifest the career & lifestyle i desire! 

I have difficulty seeing myself getting to the "next step" especially right now with this pandemic and not being able to go out that much and " take action" the other thing is that my "logical" mind tells me everyday to look for a job online, to go on indeed or craigslist. but i do not feel like that is the kind of action i need to be taking since i don't want to replace a job with another job. then here comes the argument in my head:

" look for a job, to develop more valuable skills in what you want to make your passion"

"looking for a job is forced action, is not inspired action, therefore is not the right action" so these beliefs keep me from taking ANY action.

I am so ready to get back to putting all my energy into a work that is fulfilling for me as a whole, I just cant seem to take the first step, or maybe I'm being too hard on myself? well whichever the case is, I feel like different perspective besides my own would help immensely! 

Jessica Connor, Ph.D.

Hi!

You have articulated what many people think and feel. I personally have been exactly where you are in terms of having a conflict within myself and my thoughts and feelings. One part of you thinks in survival terms and the other part of you thinks from your "higher self" vantage point. And it's actually quite common to have a dis-alignment between the brain and the spirit. This is what causes people to feel dissatisfied. And it is a great indicator that realignment is the next step. 

Your brain can do wonderful things, but it can also take you down a path that doesn't match up with what your spirit truly wants. Sometimes, the brain simply needs a rest so it can recharge from all of the thinking! It is a tool, but not necessarily meant to be the captain of the ship.

When feeling this internal conflict, merging the 2 (the brain and the higher self) back into alignment can bring a new awareness to your direction. Meditation is a great way to do this and it sounds as though you have already been doing that. For now, I would encourage you to let meditation be the "work," as simple as that sounds. This is the one thing that has made the most profound and positive changes in my own life. 

You've been given a wonderful space and time to get back into alignment with a stream of inspired thought and action. Meditation will allow you to tap into that well. And if a thought comes up in the middle of your daily interactions that doesn't align with your passion, ask yourself, "What is this thought teaching me in this moment?" This will help you re-frame the meaning behind those thoughts so you can re-center once more with what your "higher self" is trying to tell you. 

I believe that once you get your brain and your spirit reconnected, you will soar! And it doesn't take a tremendous amount of time to do. You already know you are great at learning new things - let your brain open itself to some spiritual guidance. :) 

I hope this helps! :) 

-Jessica