I'm Back

Jan Kolbe

Hi, Jessica and Sheila,

Sadly, I took an unexpected detour down heartbreak lane again with the ex-boyfriend.  After getting emotionally beat up pretty badly, (he is extremely emotionally & verbally abusive & I don't understand why I have so much difficulty being done!). If either of you have suggestions on this, I welcome them.  I just began listening to a new meditation from your list.

I'm back to continue where I left off with the How To Program A New Powerful Belief.  I had listened to the video and didn't feel very connected to the process.  Now, I'll re-listen to the video and proceed forward. 

I appreciated the email thread that was a great reminder of what I choose to be doing.  

Thank you,

Jan

Jessica Connor, Ph.D.

Hi Jan,

I'm so happy to read that you are going to continue with the course again!

I can tell you from personal experience that my most painful moments in life have been my biggest teachers. What I've discovered is that if something doesn't feel good, I have the power to create it differently. Negative feelings give great reason to go within to find out what the preferred experience might be. Ask yourself what it is that you prefer. And from there, begin to visualize that in all of its detail. And as you create these visualizations, maybe you can start to feel how it would really feel to live that experience. This is when the magic begins to happen because your subconscious mind speaks the language of 'feeling.'

Doing these things gives your subconscious mind new information to work with. When the new thoughts become dominant (the predominant way of thinking), you create a new belief. From there, the subconscious mind will begin to project that belief outward to the world around you. Vibrationally speaking, you will then match up with the experiences that are of the same quality as the new belief. Even if that sounds odd to you, I can tell you with absolute certainty that this is true!

I like to think of this as a game. I'll say to myself something like this: "Ok, I didn't really like that. It didn't feel very good. Now is my opportunity to zero in on what I do like. Then I'm going to find ways to nurture those thoughts and feel how wonderful they feel. I'm going to saturate my mind with it day and night until I see one little piece of evidence that shows me that my new thoughts are beginning to take form. Once I see that evidence, I know my seed has successfully been planted and that it must come about. It doesn't matter what is happening in the physical world because that is just the old stuff falling away from the old thoughts I used to think. I'm going to keep persisting and gathering more evidence that relate to my new thoughts. With each new piece of evidence, my excitement grows about this new experience. As my excitement grows, my new experience begins to propel towards me even faster. And that excites me even more!"

Allow the pain to show you what you DO want and persist in that. Once you get to that state of bliss and stay there, there is no stopping the new experience! Don't let the outside world detour you. It will change when the inner journey has taken hold of you!

I hope this helps! :)

-Jessica 

Jan Kolbe

Thank you very much, Jessica!

My second version of "How I Want My Life To Look One Year From Now" contains the specific detail you're referring to.  For a short time I read it on awakening & before going to bed.  I see that you are saying to keep those thoughts & feelings active all day.  I will do that consistently as I want a happy, fulfilling life with a fabulous relationship!  

I get stuck wishing and believing and wanting things to be different with he and I & I have tremendous feelings of guilt & shame for not doing what I could have done better with him both while we were together & now on the rollercoaster ride up and down--it's ended, then maybe not, then ended, then not, now hope, then none.  That nonstop repetition over the last few months has been exhausting and limiting.  I get upset with myself for not responding to him in positive, healthy ways instead of reactive.  That inner turmoil is the most destructive & present 24 hours a day, interfering with all hope of a new experience. 

I understand what you are saying; I believe somehow staying with those new thoughts and feelings (saturate) is key and to continue feeling those new desires and preferences throughout the day regardless of what is happening, even when I momentarily take a dip back.  Just continue putting those feelings first over and over (starting again, many times in the day at first).  I get that it might take a little repetition without evidence to know and believe that "my seed has successfully been planted and must come about".  Maybe I make it too hard and scary by thinking I have to give up all hope of anything working out with him which makes me very sad!!!  I would like it to make me feel happy.  Instead, simply keep my mind and feelings focused on what I do prefer.  

Sometimes when I read what you wrote, it feels easy and sometimes challenging.  Regardless, I am determined to follow your suggestions, I sincerely believe that it will work.  It actually will feel good to have positive, good, joyful feelings throughout my day!!!

Thank you, I am very happy to have your support!!!!

Jan

Shelia Thurman, LCSW

Welcome back Jan! It sounds like you have received more clarity about what you do not want. That is good. That is part of the process. Now it is time to focus your mental energy on what you do want. I suggest that you start the course over from the beginning. You are a different person now. Your big goal will have new words and more clarity. I also strongly suggest that you stop all verbal expressions of the things you do not want. Speak only of what you DO want. Words have power because they must first be formed in the mind. Words and feelings are indicators of thought. We create our reality with thought. Thoughts that have emotions associated with them manifest fastest. When you catch yourself in word or deed focused on what you do not want, do ANYTHING to distract yourself. Fine tune your big goal. Get focused on it like a dog focuses on a juices bone.

I'm excited you are ready to continue. You are loved and supported. You are cherished and appreciated. Nothing wrong is happening. This is the process!

Keep us updated. ❤️

Jessica Connor, Ph.D.

You're most welcome, Jan! Yes, it does feel good to feel good! :)

Let us know if you have any other questions!

-Jessica

Jan Kolbe

Thank you, Shelia,

I am focused on remembering to speak and think only what I do want and catching myself when not doing that.  I have been aware of what I do not want for several months, the difference now is that I've basically given up hope that those things can change into something positive.  

Jan

Shelia Thurman, LCSW

Giving up hope is something we do when we have suffered enough. Congratulations on finding the bottom. Now it's time to put all that energy into the new direction. Speak words of life over your life and watch the fun begin. I celebrate your expanded consciousness!

Jan Kolbe

Shelia, 

WOW, I would have never looked at it that way but it seems to feel right about having suffered enough!  And I would never have considered congratulations for finding the "bottom" but even that makes sense--it took a long time and a lot of suffering to get there!  I have been listening to some of the affirmation videos, perhaps that is what you refer to as speaking words of life over my life?

Thank you very much!!!

Jan