Attracting a specific person and creating a relationship

Dyuthi Nair

I understand that you can raise your vibrations and hopefully attract love to your life. But what if you have already met someone that you have fallen in love with - but they dont have the same feelings towards you? What if there are other barriers like distance? Is it possible to use LOA to draw to you a specific person and create a successful relationship with that person? I have tried time-line exercise etc... but no change in behaviour of this person in terms of reaching out to me more, etc. 

Shelia Thurman, LCSW

Hi Dyuthi. Let me say this first, "All things are possible to those who believe." Now, let me ask you a few questions.

1. With as much clarity and detail as possible tell me exactly the aspects of this person you have fallen in love with? What aspects do you not love about this person?

2. What dominant thought patterns do you think you practice that would create the reality of falling in love with someone who does not love you back?

3. This one shouldn't matter but it does in my effort to understand and help. Roughly what age are you?

I look forward to the additional info. We will look at this situation on more of an energetic level. You will get clarity and direction I promise. ♥️

Dyuthi Nair

Hi, Thanks for your response :)

I'll answer in reverse, because i find that easier.

1. I am almost 32 years old

2. Well, I am trying the exercise of visualising (of course, following all the tools given) - in detail a happy life with this person. In order not to attach feelings of frustration to it, I am trying to keep it 'open' and generally imagine a happy life with a partner I am in love with, but yes, often he automatically pops in this picture. Also doing the belief restructing exercises , instyalling thoughts like I am lovable etc. 

Second, I should say, he doesnt ''love me' back, but he is attracted to me, we spent some great days together, and he likes me a lot. But we live in different countries - so he has stopped himself from investing further or allowing himself to fall in love due to the distance. He doesnt believe in anyone changing location or life for the other.

1. Well, he is about my age, similar profession... similar in the way we look.. we are very connected intellectually, and felt  a lot of attraction and comfort in the few days we spent together. What I dont love, is how much he carries hurt from a previous failed long distance relationship, and how he can be closed off emotionally. Also that he can be quite inconsistent in his communicaion - frequency, warmth etc.

I am hoping this helps, to guide me better :) thank you for your supportive words!

Shelia Thurman, LCSW

Very good. Here is what I suggest. Be happy. Find the vibrational frequency of happiness, gratitude, joy. Think about all things you love and are grateful for. When you catch yourself thinking about the "problem," shift you focus to what feels good once again. This is a practice. You may have to shift 100 times a day in the beginning. Two things will happen. First, you will be irresistible. You will be in the most loveable, desirable frequency. You will attract people that match that frequency. Secondly, you will be in the receiving mode. You have asked for what you want. You need not keep asking. Asking comes from a place of lack. We experience a lack of perfect relationship, we automatically ask for the perfect relationship. And your request is automatically granted. The Universe received your request and immediately answered it. When we ask, it is given. Now, your job is to get into the receiving mode. The receiving mode feels good. It feels like joy, gratitude, hope, fun, laughter, love, appreciation, inspiration, etc.

Visualize your future exactly as you want it to be. If you feel bad when doing this then you are visualizing doubt or worry that you can't have what you want. We must be like a child, thrilled in our imaginary world. Do not let the noise of fear, doubt and indecision drown out your vision.

If this creates new questions please do not hesitate to ask. It is my pleasure to be of service to you.♥️

Dyuthi Nair

Yes, I understand, and I'll reframe my behaviour based on this. That was helpful advise!

Yes still every now and then, a little bit of involuntary negativity does pop in during mediations... but I hope it goes away over time, as I do other exercises... 

Any tips indeed to drown out any noise of fear?

Shelia Thurman, LCSW

Simply be aware when fear knocks at the door. Awareness is the key my friend. Once we become aware of an unwanted emotion we can begin the practice of refocusing our attention. Remember it is a practice. Self soothing is important. Welcome all emotions. They arrive with messages to help us. They are just indicators of our thoughts. Awareness allows us to deliberately choose new thoughts. Be gentle with yourself.♥️

Shelia Thurman, LCSW

I apologise for my delayed response. I suppose I failed to hit the post button. Oops

Dyuthi Nair

No problem, thanks!

Mark Fitting

Hello Dyuthi,

I just joined and I am also wanting to attract a specific person.  Your comments are from May.  I was wondering how your experience is going.  Have you made any progress with your specific person?