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Duality and opposite results

KC
in Entrepreneurship & Business
Hi Jessica and Team,

Please can you help with something I am experiencing and maybe if you can give me your understanding or perspective on what is happening please. I would really appreciate it.

I'm in both of your programs and I absolutely love your teachings and you are my role model!
 
I came across LOA several years ago and have been using it to transform my life but I also seem to be getting opposite results to what I want in some areas. 
Before coming across this information I was a successful Marketing Manager for a company, with a good salary, nice car, a nice lifestyle but I had bad habits and no awareness of anything when it came to mindset or understanding more about who we are and energy, vibrations and frequency. 
After coming across this information it was like I felt alive for the first time ever. Something that I became so interested in and wanted to know and understand so much about. I had never read a book before and although I was quite successful in my career, I was a school drop out with no grades etc. But now I read so many books on personal development, LOA, manifestation etc. and watch every single video of yours on YouTube.

I grew a following on social media a few years ago and then wanted to coach in mindset using different modalities, like NLP, hypnosis, Timeline Therapy etc. I set up a business and I quit my job suddenly last year then went full time in my business. I had several clients enroll in my beta program and for the first few months life was great! I purchased your UMM program to support my new life I was creating and worked towards being a coach earning £100k a year as my big goal. I decided to set a goal that was big, but not out of my belief system. I then went on and did your Self Image program at the beginning of the year and immersed myself in that program.
 
A few months later I was struggling with money and had no new enrollments and no income and although I wanted to have faith that all would be ok, I had a lot of pressure to pay bills and make the business work. I ended up selling a luxury car I had just to be able to pay the bills and survive. Several months later with still no enrollments and no money coming in, I had to get a part time job in a bar. Now this obviously bruised my ego after being quite successful in the past as a Manager.
 
I do a lot of mindset work and I listen to affirmations, do visualizations, hypnosis, feel gratitude for what I have, meditations and yet my results are either inconsistent, or the opposite. I have had a HT client enroll just a few weeks ago and that was a relief and has helped me to feel slightly more motivated again about my business.
Now I come from a family that have struggled with money. I know that I've had money issues and always been in debt. I'm very aware of my relationship with money and I do my best to work on that and to improve it now. (If you have a program that can help with this, please do let me know.) Again a reason I felt so successful before was that I was the highest earner in my family after dropping out of school and my parents were proud of me for what I had achieved. 

Here's the thing, my results in my life are that I now work in a bar, I have a coaching business that brings in a little side income, I have no car, I no longer look smart like used to and no longer feel successful or proud of myself like before and now I just have a lot of awareness of how I'm feeling daily. Then I watched a video of something that has really thrown me. I'm now left feeling so confused about what is happening and I'm debating going back to my previous life, as although I thought this was my true path now to coach and be of service to others, it feels like I've gone backwards in my results in what I am creating in my 3D world. Also I don't say any of this as a victim but simply trying to understand why I would be creating opposite results to what I desire. 

The information that confused was a lady sharing a video with her understanding of consciousness/reality and this is what she said -

"Your reality will absolutely change but only when it stops carrying the burden of proving to you who you've decided you are. The nature of reality is to change and to express consciousness, dynamically, and if consciousness decides to put a nail in something, anything, any form and if that form, even if it's a thought about yourself, a thought that come hell or high water has to be real in the world that one lives in, then the reality very obediently supports this thought. Even if you have decided that I'm good or I'm powerful, but it's not a realization, but an identification, your reality will give you opposites because this is the 'world of opposites'. This is duality! In order to support who you think you are. So if you believe you have to be a good person to be in this world but its an identification, then you will constantly rub up against having to prove you're a good person, having to fight bad people so the duality will very generously provide you with enough mirrors for you to continue proving or thinking to yourself that you are good or powerful. But when a consciousness detaches from identity, it becomes free and not only realizes the innate goodness of self, of this energy that creates worlds, but it also stop separating itself from the world it lives in, and realizes it is this world."   

So my question is can consciousness just decide to put a nail in something and stop it or what does this mean to you? 
Also, what could I do or how could I better understand what is happening with my current reality? 

I really do appreciate your feedback on this and especially understanding duality and opposite results. 

I'm still doing my visualization meditation in UMM and also reading my self image statement most days but not sure what else to do.

With gratitude,

KC

Comments

  • Jessica Connor, Ph.D.Jessica Connor, Ph.D.
    Hi!

    Thank you for all of your kind comments! :)

    Ok, let's dig in:

    The first thing I noted when I read your post is that you quit your job suddenly to pursue this new career. I love that you want to inspire others and coach them! (Obviously, it's what I'm very passionate about myself.) However, the belief systems that match this must be in place/installed as your new program in order for the outer reality to match as experience. It sounds as though there's a little more work to do in the "worthy of this" department to make it stick. And you have the perfect opportunity and space to do this NOW. 

    The second thing I want to point out is that you are in survival mode (as many people are, and as I have been myself in the past). When we are in survival mode, we can't create something new because we're always running from the proverbial lion. The body, most notably the sympathetic nervous system, becomes in charge in this state and keeps the mind focused on a problem. Your story then becomes something like this: I'm broke. I'm in debt. I don't feel successful in my job. And on and on... From this space, my guess is that you are doing all of the "work" as a means to fix the "problem" and becoming more frustrated because it doesn't seem to working. This is because the lion (the problem) is the main focal point. So, what's the solution? To get out of your own way. And how do you do this? By getting your brain and body back into homeostasis. I don't think you're playing victim at all. I believe you have a loop going on that is centered on a problem and that must be corrected first and foremost. Now that you are consciously aware of this, you can change it. 

    The courses you have in front you will do this for you. But you have to stop looking for ways to solve the problem by scouring the internet for the answer and go within as a way to soothe yourself. In other words, you have to shut that sympathetic nervous system down by teaching it that the lion is not actually chasing you. And this is accomplished through a new vision of the future, new emotions that match that, and new affirmations that calm the mind and body. You're going to have to fully surrender to that. It's also very helpful to use affirmations to soothe your sympathetic nervous system. 

    For example: 

    I am doing ok. 
    I have everything I need. 
    I have shown myself what success is before and I can do it again.
    I know how to feel safe because I've felt it before. 
    I am consciously tapping into new ways to feel safe and secure each and every day.
    I know how to soothe myself and be kind to myself and I'm making the decision to do more of that.
    I am learning how to create my reality in even more dynamic ways.
    I am fortunate to have more tools than most people know about and I can use those tools to transform my life.
    I have an immense desire to change my life and I am proud of that.
    I am a blank canvas with a new creation on the horizon.
    I am smart and capable.
    I can start from any point in my life and create a positive shift.
    I am open to this opportunity to become calm and centered.
    I am ready to push the reset button and start over.
    I am going to find ways to enjoy my daily experience while I'm creating something new.

    So, go into your mediations with a new outlook. This outlook would be one that is more in alignment with this: I'm going to teach my mind and body to relax a bit and THEN I will go back to the drawing board to create something new. From this space, I will be able to manifest dynamic results!

    My opinion on the quoted paragraph you are asking me about is that it is partially correct. The correct part, from my belief systems and experiences, is that reality supports our thoughts and beliefs. I believe she is trying to talk about your belief systems as consciousness, and the mirror always provides us with our core beliefs. If you think you are a good person, you will feel like a good person, and reality will give you experiences that prove to you that you are a good person (not a rubbing up against things that make you prove you are a good person - that is resistance). We certainly have duality, as in black and white, up and down, good and bad, right or left, etc. But my opinion is that she has the meaning of that a bit skewed. 

    My question to you is this: Do you really want to let that other person's opinions and beliefs about reality define your life? 

    If you're getting opposite results from what you intend to create, it's because the focus on the problem has become bigger than the focus on the solution. Again, the focus MUST shift from the problem. It's time to get focused on the solution. And the solution in this moment is to settle your system down and let it know that it's safe. Once it feels safe, it can go into creation mode once again. From this space, your heart and emotions can get into alignment with your brain. 

    I hope this helps! Please let me know if you have any questions about what I've written here! :)

    -Jessica 
  • KC
    BOOM!!! That's it! You've nailed it Jessica. :) I'm in survival and I didn't even realize. I just asked my subconscious mind using a pendulum and it basically said 'yes' to my brain and body being in survival. I've been using that technique to ask my subconscious a lot of things by affirming a statement and getting a 'yes' or 'no' answer from the pendulum swing. (muscle testing like you taught in the program.)  

    Ok, so would you say then just sit in mediation and just repeat those affirmations over and over? Then go back through your program and set the intention or goal to move my mind and body move back to into homeostasis? Then focus on building my business in the future but not just yet? If I have to have a new vision for the future, do I change the vision I have currently then and create a vision of being in homeostasis? I'm not sure what that looks like or how I will know when I'm no longer in survival? 
    I guess because I didn't know I was in survival in the first place, what does it feel like to not be in it? If that makes sense.

    Also you literally summed my life up as I'm always purchasing course after course after course trying to find the solution to my problem. I've enrolled in so many programs and then given up before I've completed them (Honestly apart from yours though as I have them on repeat and enjoy them so much). Yes frustration is what comes up quite often for me also.  

    THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I kept putting off emailing you and then had a dream that you were at my house and again and I didn't ask for your advice and then I got so frustrated with myself. So I thought that was clearly a sign to message you.

    I appreciate all that you do and taking the time to help.

    Thank you.

    KC
  • Jessica Connor, Ph.D.Jessica Connor, Ph.D.
    edited October 2022
    I would suggest finding some meditations that help you clear negative energy. I'll leave a link below to a process that I use when I feel a bit overloaded by stress. (It's actually included with the course in the bonus section.) 

    I want you to get comfortable in the space you're in so that you can re-center your brain, and so that your body can begin to listen to your re-centered brain (consciousness) and take the directions it is being given. THEN you can move back into creating.

    I also suggest making the decision that you will stop seeking out the solutions to problems while you are doing this. I'm not telling you to ignore your work, bills, etc. What I'm suggesting to you is that you move through those daily things while deciding to be okay with them. Additionally, make a promise to yourself that you will stop looking for the answers to everything. This is going to help you greatly and it may not even take that long to do. But catch yourself when you're scouring for the answers and correct it. Your body cannot be in charge - your consciousness is. And your body has to be told by your consciousness to get out of this mode. 

    You can also use the affirmations I've given, or create some that feel in alignment with destressing. The whole point here is to take away that fight or flight response first and foremost, and you should be able to feel that as a sigh of relief type of shift. You'll feel lighter and happier. Things won't bother you as much. You'll just kind of float through your day and think to yourself, "Oh, that might have annoyed me last week, but I'm feeling much calmer now." This is how you will know you that your body is taking the command and that you can go back into creation mode. You can certainly listen to parts of courses or other materials that make you feel good, but don't try to change your reality through effort at this stage. 

    Also, don't worry about the vision right now. Just listen to the guidance on meditations like the one I'm including and let everything else go for now. Take a bubble bath. Walk in nature. Hum a tune. Your homework is literally to RELAX and teach your body that it is safe to do so. Teach it that all is well and that it can go back into safety mode. Who else is going to give you permission to do that?! haha Give yourself a little slack and know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be at any given moment. 

    I'm glad you reached out! It's always nice to hear from you and I'm here to help you. Please listen to those nudges! :)
  • Jessica Connor, Ph.D.Jessica Connor, Ph.D.
    edited October 2022
    The meditation I referenced is below:






  • KC
    Thanks Jessica, I am very grateful for your detailed response. I have been doing the mediation you gave me in the link and have been using the affirmations all weekend. I do feel that I am generally an upbeat person, love being in nature, have a lot of fun (dancing around the kitchen, singing etc) and don't tend to feel stressed much, especially since I left my job and started my own business, but I do get frustrated with my business sometimes so maybe that is why I am in fight or flight and I have definitely been seeking answers on the outside with no trust in myself.  

    One last question I have is that you mentioned about 'being worthy of this' in your fist email when I left my job suddenly. I definitely feel that is something I have struggled with probably my whole life and would often not feel worthy or would wonder how I even managed to create the kind of success I had when I was in my previous roles as a Manager. I was the shy, quiet girl at school that lacked confidence and blushed all the time and whilst I have more confidence now and push myself towards growth, I know deep down that its still an issue. Social situations would always be very difficult for me and can still be now. I used to drink a lot of alcohol to get me through those events and now I hardly drink but just tend to avoid those situations instead. I'd rather stay at home and read a book or dive into a program than be in an uncomfortable social situation.
    How can I work on my self worth please as I would love to be the confident, outgoing, easy to be around person that people love to spend time with. Ideally I would like to find a balance between being an introvert and extrovert and would like to one day feel joy and excitement about being in a social situation as opposed to the fear and anxiety I feel instead. 

    With gratitude,

    KC
  • Jessica Connor, Ph.D.Jessica Connor, Ph.D.
    Hi KC,

    Yes, sometimes a little stress lingers under the surface. I certainly don't want to imprint your mind with a label that doesn't suit you, but I do think some rest and relaxation might just be what the Dr. ordered to re-center so you can get back to creation mode.

    To answer your question, I would suggest working with the Reinvent Yourself course as it's designed to amplify your self-worth. You're only dealing with an old program and old memories associated with those programs. But those are things from the past. So, the goal is to create new "memories" in your mind with new, sensory-rich visualizations in the present moment. Just be easy with this once you're feeling re-centered (and you may already be feeling that way). Go into the processes when you're relaxed so that you're not trying to force an outcome by efforting. 

    Once you've gotten back into that material with fresh eyes and have absorbed yourself in a new mindset with new future memories (there's a technique in the UMM course for this as well), challenge yourself to move beyond avoidance. These don't have to be big steps. Do what feels "doable" to you so you can prove to yourself (and your mind) that these types of experiences are safe. It may be a bit challenging at first, but it will be totally worth it! Baby steps add up to milestone moments and  I know this from experience. You may even find that you open yourself up to some pretty amazing opportunities as well! 

    You're absolutely on the right track! A good balance between extrovert and introvert is a fantastic goal. It's great to have that time to yourself while also creating new experiences and opportunities! 

    Give yourself a break here and there and remind yourself that you're doing a great job by working on you! There are a lot of people who just float through life without challenging their mindset and circumstances, so you're already way ahead of the pack! And I'm certainly proud of your willingness to step into the greatness that you are! :) 


  • KC
    Thank you as always Jessica! I had completely forgot about using the Reinvent Yourself program.

    I'll do that and will create those new future memories also with the UMM.

    Thank you and have a beautiful week! 

    With love and gratitude

    KC
  • Jessica Connor, Ph.D.Jessica Connor, Ph.D.
    You are most welcome! Wishing you a beautiful week as well :)

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